Recovery is hard, and very painful. For me, it's either try or take myself out. (Black and White , right?) I admire and am impressed how much research and self-help you are putting into your recovery. I'm terrible with homework. I just can't stick to self-help because it requires so much of myself. Energy, and the will to get better - I need the support of a therapist. And I wish I had DBT available in my area so I could be part of a group. I tried online DBT, and I just don't have the discipline for it. I also don't have the motivation, I don't think I'm worth it, etc. Please keep sharing your research - I found it thought-provoking.