welcome to PC, Patoman. You will find support here 24/7 - its membership stretches all across the world and someone is bound to be here, most any time.

There's a lot of support to be had, from people who have brought all kinds of issues to therapy. A lot of compassion, and a whole lot of understanding from people who have been on that spot in the road.

Don't give up. the work takes some time, be patient with yourself.
I will put you in my rosary. Please come back and let us know how you go.