Everything has been good. I've actually been enjoying being alive. But this morning I woke up with the demons back again. I try so hard not to let them get to me, but they work in ways that I do not understand. I feel sad and alone and hopeless again even though nothing has changed from yesterday when things seemed okay. I just want to disappear. I don't want to go out or be anywhere near people. But I have choir practice today, which usually I enjoy. Today I don't even want to go. I just want to stay home and be alone. Why does it keep coming back? Why don't I have any control over it? I hate that it rules my life. It's not fair that we try so hard and then it hits us again out of no where for no reason.
Sad & despairing