I understand what you're going through and had the same fears when I first started with my T a few months ago.

My T asked if I had suicidal thoughts and the first thing I said was if I told them I did, they would report me, so I'm not saying anything. T sensed that there was a trust issue and reassured me he wouldn't report me as long as I wasn't actually planning on doing anything anytime soon. That helped me take a step toward trusting T.

There have been MANY times I was afraid to tell T something for fear T would respond, react, or treat me differently. So far, nothing I told T has changed his behavior or way T views me. I would start by addressing these concerns with your new T. Come right out and tell them you have trust issues, you're very vulnerable, unstable, and you are afraid if you tell them things they will look at you differently. That could be a good ice breaker and establish the trust and mutual respect you need.

If your T is professional, decent, and knows their job, they will NOT look at you any differently no matter WHAT you tell them.

Hang in there, think of skiing to help you through the tough times, and know that you can always come to PC to talk about anything.