Quote:
Originally Posted by adam_k
I would work on your past abuse and come to terms with anything that has happened before you engange in something that could give you reminders of what happened. Being tied up and out of control is a very scary feeling. It is only made better by a partner you can trust not to hurt you. Getting with someone who doesn't care if he hurts you (physically or psychologically) will bring bad things. BDSM is about the pain you like and not about being hurt for someone's pleasure imo.
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Very well said and I echo Adam_k says
I have had things, especially at first that set me off. But I was with my boyfriend who stopped and comforted me because he could tell I was.in distress and had shut off.
Trust and open honest communication is important in anything, but especially in BDSM. If you aren't communicating or being honest with who your partner is then they can't do everything to make sure your best intrest is in mind.
It is hard to move past sexual abuse as adults so we can have happy healthy sex lives howeever we choose to pursue them. It can be done, I know I have done it, the times where i freeze up or shut down are far and few between now a days.