There's no shame in talking to the people you want to have show you their love and asking them to. They may just not know you need that from them. Some people are good at spontaneous shows of affection but others aren't, either because they don't think of it/know the other wants it or becuase they are uncomfortable in their own selves with it, have a problem themselves that has nothing to do with you/the other.

I constantly try to think of ways to surprise and get a smile out of my husband but can't imagine doing that for my stepmother. Some of it I think has to do with the degree we love the other person versus how much we wish they loved us. Do some unexpected things for the person you want to know loves you and use their response to see how well they "see" (whether they notice what you do and thank you for it, are joyful for what you do for them) and/or how comfortable they are with showing affection ("how" they thank you, if they seem embarrassed or loving in return).