After months of being semi okay, today just has to be the one that is terrible.

Can't focus, can't think through the pain, don't want to do anything.

Had an interesting session with T on Tuesday, and it's been eating at me all day. Why???? Why do I have to go through this? Why can't someone just take it away from me?? Why do I feel so alone?

I have group in a half hour, and I don't want to go. I have no one that I want to talk to, I don't want to report in for group.
Don't even want to do anything. AHHHHH

I don't want to go, but I still go out of obligation. and wanting something better, and I just sit and wonder when that something will come.