My H and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few years. We went to an infertility doc, and they did a bunch of tests. All the tests came back normal, so they can't really say why we are having trouble getting pregnant. After 6 failed inseminations, H and I decided to try IVF. A few days before I went in for a blood test to find out if I was pregnant, I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. When I went in for the blood test, they said I most likely had a miscarriage because my hormone level was so low, and then this past Monday, they confirmed the early miscarriage with another blood test. I cryed for hours after getting that call and wanted to cut so bad, but I was able to resist the urge. Then I was ok for a couple days. H and I talked and we decided we are going to try IVF again. Then yesterday I started feeling really depressed again. Today has been awful. I'm irritable and depressed and can't stop thinking about the miscarriage. I just don't know what to do with these feelings. I want to SI so bad to make the emotions go away. I can't stand it any more. I just can't stop thinking about it. It isn't fair. Teens and women who don't want to have kids get pregnant, and I can't. All I've wanted my whole life was to be a mommy. I have always loved kids. I started babysitting when I was 12. For the past 3-4 years, I have worked one on one with kids with special needs in their home and community as well as respite in my home. I actually have to leave soon to pick up a child. I love working with the kids that I do, but it is really hard right now seeing them and holding and hugging them and wondering if I will ever get a chance to hug and hold my own child.