Hey everyone !!!

I am at wits end with my BPD. It tore my marriage apart and is now wrecking my current relationship.

I have been with my current boyfriend for 11 months, and I know if i don't change soon then it will be over.

My relationship has hit a very big 'bump'...
We both admit whole heartedly that we love each other so much, and the thought of loosing each other hurts. But we are also now admitting that it may not work out, maybe our love isn't enough.....
I apologise in advance for such an indepth explanation but I just don't know what to do.

Basically I have been married before and it failed, and I am seeing the same thing happening again(just without the marriage)
I have a mental illness which stems from a huge fear of bing abandoned, and I tend to push people away before they can leave.
Months ago I caught my bf chatting to girls online, he lost a lot of my trust at this point but we got through it. I think I still use it against him tho. I am finding it hard to fully trust him(my ex husband left me for another woman)

I don't work, so it's kind of expected that I at least keep the house clean bUt I cannot even manage that, and I've realised now that a big fault of mine. He works so many hours and we don't get quality time together anymore, when he is home he wants to rest and not really do anything.

The bump I am referring to is that we are constantly arguing, over stupid things. Sometimes I start the arguments and sometime he does. I don't know why this is happening but I think it has to do with the fact that I'm finding it hard to trust him and that he finds it hard to believe when I say I am trying to get better(mental illness, trusting him, and keeping house clean) but when he tells me he doesn't believe I will change it makes me angry and not want to try, which in turn proves what he says.

I don't know how we will ever work out if we keep arguing like we are.... It feels like we are both putting too much emphasis on who is right and who is wrong. deep down i dont want to be hurt like i have in the past, and its stopping me from swallowing my pride and proving him wrong, its like ill just act how he says i will (do nothing) because its the easier option....
Can it be fixed or has it gone too far?
What can I do to save the relationship?

I'm lost and confused....