Ok this may or may not sounds extreme to you guys, but I have BP so badly that during my mania, I went out and exercised to the point where I fractured my foot. I've worn a wrap for a while, but every time i have a manic episode, I take it off and run. Its incredibly painful, but I dont seem to ever care. I've run on a fractured foot 4 times now and its really messed up. Thing is, I cannot help the running. I'm kind of addicted to it. Its my one escape from all the pain where I can sense a little freedom in my life.

On the other side, My depression states are horribly low. I've attempted suicide 3 times in the past (im ok for now) I cut all the time... I have a lot of chronic pain, not only in my foot, but Arthritis in my back. This puts me down incredibly low all the time. I never have anyone to talk to when I'm so down. I get very irritable with my family, yelling and sometimes cursing at them when they simply want to help me. I cannot help my irritability, its out of control.

I tend to have on average 3 mood swings per day, usually very extreme and sudden. I can go from on top of the world to the lowest of lows in less than a second. Ive had as many as 6 mood swings in the course of 12 hours. Im on all sorts of medications including lithium . None of which help.

Im not really looking for sympathy at this point, I'm just curious if anyone has BP as badly as I do. If so, how do you deal with it. Its causing me to fail school so I need to find a way to control it.