Thinking out loud...

Your general problem seems to stem from the fact that you are alone all day long, at home,nursing your fear of abandonment. That is not healthy for you. You need to broaden your social circle, be it via gainful employment, volunteering, athletic activities in groups, hobbies, a book club, and so on and so forth. Your goal should be to reduce the share of the time that your mind is preoccupied with various thoughts that pertain to your boyfriend or your relationship.