I so want to give in, then maybe the stress, anxiety, guilt, shame, depression, will just go away.

At the same time I want all of this life to change and go a different direction, into something I can handle. I don't want to reach out to a friend, I just can't handle seeing the concern in people's eyes, I don't want to see that. I"m freeking out and all I want to do is SI!!!! then maybe some of the feelings will decrease.

Distraction: not working
Trying to live life: Not working
I have a few minutes of sanity a day, and that's all.
I'm scared!!!