Wow...so sorry. I'm not too sure what to say to be helpful, but I do have one possible suggestion. Do you think you could craft a letter to a potential T that lays out all of your issues in a clear and logical way talking of others and equally accepting responsibility? Do you have a close friend or family member that could help read it over for you? Then, when you met a new T, you could tell said T that you sometimes have trouble communicating effectively. So, you wrote down everything that you want to say? Do you think that might be helpful? I'm sorry that you are having trouble finding a T that is a good fit, but I'm sure you will in time.