Hi, I'm 16 and would probably be considered normal. I don't really know how this is supposed to work so I'm kinda free handing. I'm in 11th grade, have a tight circle of friends and an amazing girlfriend of one year and some odd months. For the longest time I've been feeling like everything I do eventually amounts to having no impact on anybody that I know. I have an increasingly bad habit of thinking about what would happen if I rolled out the car when I am riding in one. I have thought about suicide before, but never put serious thought into it. My father is an alcoholic who at his worst tends to bash my entire essence and existence. Insisting that I'm a dumbass who isn't going anywhere. Many people at my school tell my girlfriend that I'm just a loser going nowhere. For as far back as I can think I've never really thought I look good or have anything good to offer anyone. I feel like if I were gone nobody's' life would change. I need to know why I feel the way I do. I constantly sleep to escape my thoughts and try to dream, but I seem to have lost the ability to dream. In the past 5 months I've had maybe 3 fragments of dreams? I wish I could explain my situation better, but this is the best I can do. I would really appreciate it if somebody could help me figure out what's wrong. I feel really depressed on the inside while putting on a fake smile. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff constantly. Please help