had a nasty 2 days; been feeling enraged and depressed and sick of my life.
this morning I felt like taking my self-defence knife (oh wait, there's definitely irony here), and stabbing it in the deltoid muscle of my left arm; I am seldom that angry that I want to cut myself but today was one of those rare days. I did not even get my knife out , but the fact that I'm so angry at life/ myself(?) that I felt like doing that upsets me.

I've been feeling MIS (miserable.! Why do I get SO down that I wish the world would just 'end'?