I do not have a therapist of any sorts. I've probably been through 20 of those when I was a kid. I just feel I'm too smart to be told what is wrong with me at the price they want to charge. Not to sound cocky. I should really consider finding me one tho.

I probably will feel better after a few months. You are probably right about contacting her again. I've put away almost everything of hers as well. Just not the teddy bear. If you saw this thing you would feel the same way. lol It's just so dammmmm adorable. You are right. But how does the kindest person leave such a negative footprint? It's hard to believe. I'll check out that website. I still think this is doing a fine job tho. I mean... how often do you meet someone that has been to Willcox and lives in Sierra Vista?? Lol I've seen everything. I'm ready to die now. haha just kidding.
I wouldn't let anything get in the way of my job. Well I just lied. Alcohol has but I never drink on days I work. I would love to tho. lol Work now is always my #1 priority and I hope to work myself into the ground and up in the ranking system while I sit back and wear my mask of sanity, climbing the ladder.
About helping ppl too, I've always been much more of a giver, then a receiver. Especially to those people I care about. I would give the world up to make someone happy at my own demise. And I usually do.
I have noticed over the years that my ex's seem to get better and better. Something tells me my next one is going to be great because I've been looking out for all those warning signals I see in woman. Every ex was another lesson learned. Kind of like a game. But I can't go around comparing everyone to the last. They are all so different. Which is great.
I couldn't agree with you more. I've always told myself that hatred was a better coping mechanism then depression. And now I'm one of the meanest people I know because of it. Lol. Kind of screwed myself there. I'm working on it. I'll work backwards when I find someone worth my time. Thanks for responding by the way.

Yeah, I guess you could say I'm depressed. But this is the third heartbreak and I'm getting rather sick of the emotional anguish. There's like a void the size of an anvil weighing down my heart causing me to grow more and more emotionless. Kind of like a psychotic patient of emotional abuse. I know I'm not the only one that deals with this but I feel I'm the only one with my mountain of disorders making this a thousand times worse to deal with. You are right. time does heal. I've dealt with this b4 I know what to expect. usually I sleep and drink just long enough until I hate the other person and could care less about them.
Yeah my passed was not pretty. But I just don't think a therapist would do me any good. But who am I to judge? My passed actually did mess up that relationship. I want to say I regret it. But I don't want a life of regret anymore. I actually prefer to remain unsober tho. Not only do you forget but eventually it's as if it never happened.

Thanks all 3 of you. I talk a lot, I know. lol Some call it a problem, I call it a gift. I hope I'm not being self-defeating here. I really am being thankful and taking into grave consideration.