I struggle with this also. I 've been thinking a lot about this too lately. I have a wonderful loving boyfriend. He shows his love in so many ways and thoughtful things. But I don't always feel loved. I know its got to do with me not him. One thing I have wondered at is the same as Pernas example. My kids when young would act up or my dogs now act up and I get angry but I love them and its over. I still want to give them a hug and kiss. I still cuddle them later and its forgotten. Did that happen for me as a child? I don't know. I don't think so. I was never held and cuddled. If I was "bad" I was bad for weeks. No sign of forgiveness or love and acceptance that the behavior was bad but I was essentially good. I was banished. Today as an adult when something happens with my BF I expect to be banished again. It doesn't happen with him. We talk and he is so loving and supportive. But I think I still carry around those old feelings. I have noticed that when I am around my family too much I start to feel less. I have to get away and build my self esteem up again. I am lucky I have good friends who tell me I me am a good loving person. I quess thats my reparenting. But those old feelings are insidious and can creep back. I have to use the thought stopping and make a point of loving myself more. Taking time for me and looking at that little girl inside who deserves to be loved and accepted. We got broke somehow but we can mend ourselves.