today has not gone well for me. For the firs time in weeks I broke down and started crying cause I realize that romantic luck with guys is really poor compared to girls.

what I mean is that i have a girlfriend whom I love and adore a ton, but she know I will not feel fully complete or happy until I find a primary male in my life as well. And when I look back t on the men I find attractive or try to date. They usually end up wanting something physical from me and not really anything romantic or relationship wise. Even though I tell them out right I want to have a romantic partner I don't just only want sex.

one of the guys I was dating for a while here in town, is really making my depresion flucuate cause he does like me and he does care about me...but he really has issues with intimacy and showing his emotions. Saying that he does not feelings for me...but then doing things that totally counteract what he said.....
I know in the long run I have no one to blame but myself for my mishaps and pain that I have my life... and I do seem to be learning from them. But some times be confronted with the feelings of hurt from my past is too much for me to deal with. And sometimes its too easy to bring those feelings to the surface too