Thanks for the help Rohag. And it isn't that I have toxic friends. Its ever since I was in elementary school its felt like I have to try harder and work smarter just to get to be normal. All my friends are great to me, they just get a tad out of control sometimes. Plus nobody knows how I actually feel on the inside. I'm the guy that you see walking down the hall with a big smile laughing with friends, but I actually feel hollow on the inside. Like no matter what I do I won't be able to reach the level of happiness that I want to be at. And its increasingly frustrating waking up everyday doing the same things, then coming home and getting maybe an hour to myself. Then it seems that everything inside my hardens. My feelings, attitude. But somehow I keep putting on the mask everyday trying to convince myself and everyone around me that I'm fine. I've been doing some research and found that what best suits my symptoms is possibly bipolar disorder or medium to severe depression. I just wish I could figure out why I always feel this way...