Maybe Ts are not there to change, but they are there to learn. About you and what you need. My T said there will inevitably be times when he breaks my trust in some way. That there will be times when I am angry with him, and we should let that in and deal with it.

I don't think he has ever said the words "I'm sorry", now I think of it. I've ever been upset, or angry, he hasn't invalidated that, but has listened, and told me it is allowable and necessary to express my feelings, and more and more I see that he is learning about me, just as I am learning about myself.

My mother says the words "I'm sorry". They mean nothing, because she doesn't mean them.