Hi… I found this site about a week ago but only just got up the corage to join... so been lurking before that... thought I should probably introduce myself and as I seem to fit into this category better than the others and so will probably spend most time in this area and can't work out where I *should* do it I desided to do it here... if this is wrong please let me know or move this or something...

My parents are very strict Catholics; they believe that through original sin children are born evil. Unlike most who assume this to be wiped away at chistening/baptism/ect they believed that it was up to them to “cleanse us of evil”. This was done in many ways, from simple beatings to being set on fire. My father would devise “punishment games” and use them as punishment for any sin or just say it was gods will. My mother also carried out a few punishments, but lacked the physical strength and imagination of my father. She also came to the conclusion that I was not fit to be part of their family, deeming me a “mere drunken mistake”.
By the time I was 14 most of the focus punishment wise was upon me, by now my father was claming me to be the anti-Christ and had me fairly convinced of this.
My brother also did things, but I cannot bring myself to explain those and he was basically dis-owned due to it (something that at times I blaime myself for) meaning that I haven’t seen nor heard from him since.

I have flashbacks and nightmares of 3 distinct events from my past, 2 involving my father almost killing me and the other involving my brother (but I can't bring myself to explain that event). Up until recently I had nigh on no memories of life before I was about 12, but over the last few months I have began to build up an idea of what went on in those "missing" years.

So ye… for the most part that’s it. Strange thing really as I often cannot think of it as abuse… thinking of it as just punishments, I’m 21 and still have difficulty admiting these things at times

anyway... this wasn't meant to turn into a biography... only meant to be a quick "hi"... so I'll stop typing now