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Originally Posted by DreamDetective
Thank you for the replies - sorry I have not been online in a few weeks. I've been throwing myself into anything that could help my daughter.
We do suspect my daughter of having some type of sexual trauma. She has no memory of it but says that in her memory room (a part of her brain that has tunnels she goes into to find memories) there is one section that is surrounded by a force field and is guarded by the mean one. She says that holds the bad memory. (She has all the symptoms of sexual trauma in other ways and both our therapist and psychiatrist state they feel she has had some type of sexual trauma).
We have tried to show kindness to the mean one, but he absolutely terrifies her. She has not slept alone since therapy started (November). There is also someone in her mind who protects her and he gets into fights with the mean one defending her (I'm not naming their names, but all the people in her mind have names, different ages and skin color). There is another man in her mind but we're not sure what purpose he has. There are various animals, but the majority are nice and encouraging to her. There is a little girl (she says she is her at age 4 or 5) who shows up frequently. When her protector takes my daughter away to be safe, the little one emerges. Since we homeschool, we have had to keep two sets of lesson plans depending on who is present for schoolwork (math especially - reading is not so bad, we just change the level of books we read). It's complicated and sometimes I feel very alone trying to parent under challenging circumstances. I don't want to do the wrong thing.
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What helped me was learning that the mean ones, in my case, are actually helpers. It sounds like your daughters mean one is actually trying to protect her from bad memories. Once I was able to see my mean ones as helpers I was able to talk with them and explain to them what it was I am doing. Right now I am dealing with an angry one who thinks I sould hurt myself because my little one is trying to tell. This angry one is doing what he was created to do. He is trying to keep sereates from me and my therapist. Now that I am aware of him I am going to try to help him to understand that it is ok to tell. That we are safe from the abuser and that telling will help us all. He may be saying mean things but he is actually trying to protect me from being punished for telling. Alters are originally created to help us survive. He is just stuck in time and the reason he was created is no longer a threat. I just need to help him to understand that. For me. once my mean acting alter learn that we are no longer in danger they seem to step aside.