(((bluefish)),

I am glad you are feeling a little better now that you opened up and tested the waters here. You need to start climbing out of bed and find a good therapist and get going on your healing now. You have a bright mind and you have "faith" in you too, so you have to do some "self care here" and get your life back on track.

I am very sorry that you had all that happen to you. I had things happen to me that I never saw coming either, nor did I have enough knowledge at the time to understand the very real challenges that alcoholism can bring. I can't blame you for having a sense of guilt, but honestly, you just didn't know.

Well, life can sure throws some surprises, but we all have to learn to dust ourselves off and get back up and "learn" what happened, how to make sure we see it right as well so we don't let it happen again. It is important to grieve, get comforted, validated and then comit to grow past it all and head forward again. You can do this, you really can.

(((Hugs)))