I don't have much to offer but to say I read your words. I do not know what you prefer to do. You must have an idea of what to do.

I just have-what I think: "1. do you a think a therapist is required? 2. do you want to find why you have this pattern of behavior? 3. what would the best way to work at this? for example, would distracting type of activities help you when you feel triggered to start the angry thing?"

Sorry I am asking more questions than giving you answers, but you have insight into what you have talked about and are concerned enough to post your thoughts. So, I feel asking a few questions would help to eventually find a way that you will be more satisfied with yourself-with who you are.