I used to have a theory that the medication is supposed to be awful. You see, I have two options bad and worse. Medications made me worse than the disorder ever did so, I thought I had better accept the disorder. Bad is better than worse. Shut up and deal with it or shut up and deal with a chemical torture in addition to bipolar.

Since then I've tried some tolerable drugs but, I still wonder if my first psychiatrist was trying to do a bad job to push me either over the edge eliminating a crazy person or have me deal with it untreated and eliminating demand for an already overworked mental health care system.