Syra, it wasn't the not having anything that was mine that was the release, it was the finally feeling the loss of my birth mother at a feeling level. It's been mainly intellectual knowledge of the loss until that moment. But I understand what your saying. I'm glad what I wrote helps others.

You know, it's amazing if we just let ourselves ramble in therapy everything is leading us to a certain point. We've just got to trust that process.
I feel now at a place of acceptance. I've been carrying my birth mothers 'deadness to me' inside of me for so long. Unable to put her down, unable to say goodbye. Afraid of letting go that which had already gone.