You are totally allowed to complain.

I think it's interesting what you say about therapy. Have you considered the possibility that you are in a cycle and you felt ignored, pushed away or not believed by therapists because of how you feel about yourself? I'm not blaming you - I'm saying your reaction to therapy may be a demonstration of the problems you need to solve. You think you don't have the right to complain. So it's logical that you feel a therapist agrees. Therapy works by bringing out our issues and interpersonal problems. The challenge is then to find new ways to solve them.

I have similar issues. I expect to be ignored and abandoned. So I get into a cycle where I am convinced my therapist is ignoring and abandoning me. Gradually I am learning to a) do reality checking (does he really think x or am I guessing) and b) tell him how I feel, to question my assumptions and suspicions and ask him if they are correct, but this is a very slow process. It takes a long time to work through it in therapy and it's very hard.

It seems from your post that you are struggling to accept that others can see you differently to the way you see yourself.