Dreamy thanks so much for your reply. I can tell by what you wrote that you know exactly what i'm going thru.

Some days are better than others and on the whole i'm doing better with it than i expected. but when the grief washes over me, it catches my breath, my heart feel like it has a hole in it and i just don't know how to console myself.
The best way to describe the feeling is like when someone dies and there's an ache and piece of you missing and you'd do anything to bring them back but it's impossible.

How is she able to do this. Just walk away so easily? Well, i'm not sure it is easy for her either judging by what she's said. But she's doing it anyway.