I liked your input iota it's always comforting to know someone else cares and wants to find a way to be there to help others who understands the challenge first hand. What has disturbed me deeply is how people "dismiss" the very real challenge of PTSD.

I faced alot of sudden loss myself and it got so I just couldn't deal with the pain of it all anymore. I was also very angry and I was just so overwhelmed, I didn't know anything about Post Tramatic Stress either. You are right about the system because I got so bad I just could not function. Yes, my thoughts of ending my life was really about wanting to end the pain and the anger that was totally wiping me out. So I relyed on the system and went to a psychward where I didn't get the help/grief counceling I needed, but instead was further tramatized.

When I look back on how I was failed and how it made me worse, I get so upset. I don't just get upset for myself though, I get upset for anyone who struggles like that and faces others who dismiss them and don't even comfort them or validate them. It could have been so much better for me had a professional, knowing the significance of grief counceling and rest and validation is, could have sat with my family and explained the dangers that I could develope PTSD. Because that didn't happen, my family was mean to me and constantly kept telling me that I better get my "act together" or I would lose everything. Wow, were they mean to me, it was awful.

There needs to be alot more awareness in society about this challenge, therapists who are specially trained to work with patients who struggle with PTSD or the aftermath of something tramatic, and it is soooo important to also include family members in understanding it so they don't "mistreat" the patient which only makes it worse. And when I say treatment providers that "specialize" in PTSD, that is so important because with all the symptoms it presents someone can end up having several misdiagnoses which can lead them to being even more misunderstood, as well as feeling more confused and overwhelmed themselves.

ajmich, as far as getting exposure to others who can "understand", I agree with iota, where it is important to have others who can validate the challenge with processing pain and can be understanding, comforting and validating. Because we are designed to "connect" with each other, connecting with others who are "healing" and gaining is very important to how we slowly see we are not alone and that there is really a path to healing "with others who can support us", verses thinking we are a failure because we are struggling.

I am facing my mother's decline with Alzeheimers and it "is" painful for me to see her fading away. My father has aged so much this past year alone and seeing him trying to come to terms with it is heartrenching for me. I know both of them as strong and outgoing people so it is hard to explain to others how hard it is for me to process this challenge based on the individual uniqueness of these two people. I can hear from others, "yeah, it is a challenge and alot of people struggle with it", but sometimes that can almost be a tad dismissive in a way. It is almost like "its a part of life so just deal with it", and I am really struggling. I think it is harder because I also am battling PTSD too, and I have to admitt that I worry about how I will be able to "process the pain" that I am not only feeling now, but will be challenged with for this entire process as I watch them continue to decline and struggle. Right now I am trying really hard to just take it one day at a time and "not project". Sigh....some days are a real challenge because I am trying to find ways of talking to them to help them accept their challenges with suddenly being so old that they have to give up things they didn't realize "they" were going to have to give up. This year alone my father had to face that he can't drive anymore, and now he has to give up his business too. He is still "really smart" and has been doing it, but has not been able to complete a test in the time limit given to him. His brain can't process that fast anymore. Sigh...society doesn't care about that, either you do something the way it is wanted or you don't fit in anymore. It is sad because he gets everything right, he just can't do the entire test fast enough so he gets failed.