I marked this as potentially triggering. No idea if it is or not.

Background, since this is my first post here: I have been binging/purging for over a decade at this point. I was just hospitalized for Bipolar and, while I was there, mentioned- for the first time ever to a professional- that I had this pattern.

Rationally, I know that I wasn't really treated for it because the problem is pretty much in remission and I was dealing with many, much more serious, issues at the time.

However, emotionally, I feel like they didn't take me seriously because I am still heavy. Most of the people being treated for ED were dangerously thin, which makes sense that most people don't seek treatment until they reach that point, but it made me feel like a failure as an ED patient. Does that make sense? Despite ten years of horrible behavior that led to health problems, I still have a high BMI and felt like nobody considered it a real problem.
It's like I can't convey to people how much this aspect of my life has affected me because, as far as anybody can tell, it hasn't outwardly affected me that much. That's really frustrating, because it was so hard to tell people in the first place. I never mentioned it again, once I was in inpatient, because I felt like such a doofus for bringing it up. To give my pdoc credit, she was very careful to avoid medication that would affect my weight, but I still felt so bad about sharing my problem that it made me want to start binging/ purging again, even though I hadn't done it in months.

Has anybody else felt this way? I'm so frustrated by both my ED and the response I've had to telling people, I don't know where to go from here.

Thanks for reading