Rohag makes a great suggestion. You ought to be dreaming much more, and without healthy dreaming your daytime processing of thoughts may not be the best.

As far as how hard you work, it's not just you. Writer Albert Camus observed some fifty years ago, "“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” I work now in the town I grew up and went to school in and LMAO when I meet students & teachers I went to school with & discover how they think I sailed through class ... never picked up a book! Wow, l did little outside of class but study. Amazing.

My dad was an alcoholic. Can you get to any Ala-Teen meeting, at a church, maybe? I would have helped me understand what was going on and that I wasn't involved. It can help keep you out of it. Your mom might want to go to Alanon.

I'm glad you wrote. Lots of young folks are no this site now. Check out the forums and post wherever you feel a connection.
roadie