Welcome to PC Orion,

I am sorry for what you had to endure, I hope you are in Therapy or utilizing some other resource to assist you as you search for understanding and healing ...the mind does what it needs to help a child survive...amnesia, supression, memory problems, these are just a few mechanisms...keep posting as much as you feel you can and I hope it helps you gain insight and strength... you are not alone in your struggles with childhood torture and abuse...and again welcome...

Eva