|
Mar 02, 2013, 12:48 PM
|
|
|
|
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
I have just went thru the most traumatic break-up with my beloved therapist. I haven't been able to write about it here until now. I think we both recognised that my needs were greater than what she could safely provide. And i now have a new therapist more suited (hopefully) to my needs whom i have seen twice and seems ok.
Termination has been awful. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. The feelings of immense loss and grief and betrayal sometimes threaten to drown me. She was such a big part of my life for 18 months, i loved her and she provided something for me that i didn't get growing up. Stability, caring, listening, supporting etc. But the boundaries were messed up from early on, we became more like friends almost at one point. I think she felt uncomfortable with that and tried to pull the boundaries back to where they should have been and that triggered an abandonment response in me and things got messy.
She says we can't stay in touch in the future. It's like a death. It hurts so much.
Can anyone relate to this and tell me how they got over feeling so awful about termination?
|
The same thing happened to me. I felt groomed, betrayed and abandoned (not sexually, just emotionally). It was longer than 18 months! I lost a lot in the "break-up." And I think boundary issues were part of the problem
I did get beyond it. It was hard, but I found a new therapist.
I started sharing my story with a few trusted people. I learned of a couple other people locally that the same thing happened to. That helped. Speaking about it here on this board has helped. And hearing how often it actually happens has helped - I'm not some kind of monster client.
I eventually recognized (and this is over a year after the break-up) that it hurt because of my demons (inner child hurts) I had before I ever got to her. This doesn't excuse her from triggering my demons - which she knew about. I pay her to keep her stuff out of my therapy so she can help me, and she didn't do that. But that's different than her causing my inner child demons, and I still have those to work on, and I am working on them slowly but surely. And I think when I have conquered those inner demons, she won't bother me so much.
I wish you grace in this journey.
P.S. I'm looking forward to reading other responses. You asked a great question I know wished I asked.
|