yep here I go again likely making a fool of myself..I will make an effort not to offend anyone!...

it's no big deal this one I'm just trying to figure out how to translate my expression?...as always!

...so I had a dream about a McDonalds hamburger!

it was a delicious looking thing!...

it really was....! just like the pictures on the wall in the shop!

today I was compelled to consume one....

and as I sat there eating this edible deformity...I just made the most of it I guess!

I was hungry

and a little later I had this urge to return and yell at the manager!..."I want the burger in the damn picture!"

what I got was like a burnt cow fart in a soggy bun with half a veggie garden chopped with an axe and barely any sauce!

...then I got to thinkin'...yep!

full on because I typically always go on the attack and rip everyone to pieces!

...'the burger on the wall was assembled by expert marketing humans people and it likely took them 8 hours to set the damn thing up...well paid Audi driving wine rack silk sheeters!'

...and the version I paid for was made as best he or she could cheap shoes tight jeans dented uninsured car driving but mum and dad loves them anyway and they made it best they could in 30 seconds!

hell I used to cook for KFC when I was a teenager...
I did experiments on the chicken and managed to triple coat the stuff for an awesome result...cos there aint ever enough crispy...but I umm got in trouble for doing my chicken experiments!

...so the expectations are way too high....and it's luctrative to embed the presumption!

my Maccas super burger fell to pieces after 3 quarters through it....compared to the picture on the wall it was a disaster!...
but I got fed...

now here goes the irony!...

I can no longer hide behind a picture on the wall I am so exposed..
horrendous!...distasteful!...a disaster...not even smart...barely edible

I cough myself up each day and spit myself out and then the gag reflex I swallow me back inside!

and I lose it so easily my temper is irrational....but tonight I thought about that kid making that burger....and he or she did the best they could..

I really hate being this placid...it's more than just food!

but what I realised is that my illnesses have primed me to find the worst things in everything and ?

whats...most disturbing about that?

I am only seeing the worst things about me...

hell aint it good I eat alone?....thats way to complicated for anyones dinner to be

(by the way....monkeyman has sent me in a spin!....I much prefer my old name)

and neither are really it!

james