>> It is possible that the way I am going about trying to figure all of this out is avoidant or just an excuse for easy therapy.

Very doubtful to me, Fix. your letter shows that you have tried to, & are continuing to, look at all angles of this, including the ones that are not easy, & not trying to avoid the hard parts.

I see in your letter a sincere desire to continue, if she will. I really hope that you get a great response to a what I think is a great letter.