If you kill yourself your insurance will be nullified I looked into that myself as I'm worth more financially dead than alive.
You are in crisis reach out don't suffer in silence, tell your T how your feeling or write it down and give it to the T. You feeling that the T has given up is their error not yours, you have a chronic mental health illness your T knows there is no quick fix and I'm sure will work to amend that if he knows that's how you feel. Or find a new one because your T is failing you not the other way round. if your psych unit has denied you access they must feel that there input is not helping you. Ask them what your options are and what your new crisis plan should be and if they can help you formulate a plan specific to you. I cant believe that they will turn there backs on you knowing your pain for so long and especially in light of your recent terrible tragic loss. You have been through a serious trauma it may feel like doors are closing on you but push open another. As you research how best to die spend an equal amount of your time looking for help. Tough time pass, tough people go on. To have battled bipolar for so long you are a seriously tough cookie although I can't possibly imagine the pain you are in your emotions will evolve with that annoyingly frustrating element that I hate... time. Take care speed3, I hope you find a ounce more strength and reach out for help, you have every right to be hurting and struggling there is help out there.