I don't know what say, I feel so bad and worried for you and her
You can't really make them get help . I suppose you could call 911 and say you're worried she's trying to hurt herself, then they would possibly put a hold on her for a psych eval and treatment for a few weeks. If ur in the states, I think they have to provide Medicaid if she has no money nor insurance. Who is prescribing the Xanax? That should probably stop, you could call her doctor... You are not in a good position. Take care of yourself and your kids as best you can right now. I'm so sorry ur going through this.