You are expecting symmetry confusing symmetry with fairness. I have done it. It is very understandable, but it is flawed.

Look, you are ALREADY not symmetrical with respect to sex. For her: just nice. For you: hugely important.

Further, you are ALREADY not symmetrical with respect to sexual experience. For her: a few partners. For you: just one.

See how it is already not a level playing field and you should not strive to make it one.

If she is OK with it, you do not have to be OK with the reverse.

Many people prefer to be the only partner of the opposite sex but are OK with the bi spouse' having extra partners of the same sex. This is very understandable, because if you are a man, a woman is a creature who is so different from you that you do not feel competition. You would not feel "dis-preferred". You would feel that your wife is just meeting the needs of the other half of her orientation. It is very understandable. Your position is understandable, but so is hers.

Your ground rules seem axiomatic to me.

Cheating has to do with deceit so I do not see how you would apply this word in your situation. Just forget about it.