I think you may want to ask yourself if this is a relationship that you really want to commit your life to. A part of you may not want to, and that part needs to be listened to. If he has chronic pain at this point in his life, what are the prospects for him ever not having chronic pain? Chronic pain gets worse with age, generally. That could lead to him being chronically irritable. If the anger episodes are bad enough to make you actually break up with him, then that's a sign of something important. Everyone gets irritable with anyone that they spend a lot of time around. We tend to show our irritability to those whose love we trust. Are you expecting too much, or is it something else? The "something else" could be that you are hoping that the splits will lead to him changing . . . or he is hoping the splits will show you that he will not change. Usually, I think it's safest to assume that people won't change . . . not very much. Another "something else" could be that you don't really want this for the rest of your life.

I'll bet you both do love each other. That is what makes it so hard. It is very hard - in this lonely world - to let go of sure love for an uncertain future. We tend to fear that there won't be another real "love." Love, alone, really is not enough for a relationship to work. That's very hard to accept . . . especially in our romantic Western culture. We think that "Love overcomes all." It doesn't . . . oftentimes.

Imagine how it will be when you might have little screamin' kids to take care of and his irritability to deal with on top of that. Can you imagine yourself maybe feeling trapped? What you're seeing now is probably him at his best. We have little warning voices inside us that we tend to not listen to. Have a good heart to heart talk with your own little inner voice.