I guess for some couples this "open relationships" can work ... Your situation is so very complicated.. Her student loans and talks you have had with her about paying them and how she must get a job like. right. now.

So here you bring up wanting to be with other women.. what could she possible say ??? She very well may feel backed in a corner and felt the only thing she could say is yes.. I'm sure she has fears of the entire marriage ending.

I would just think that getting your current relationship on track and both feeling strong, wanted and needed and then revisit the idea of an open marriage .. Just my opinion.

Good Luck with everything.