I've been moved to tears by the wonderful heartfelt replies and shared experiences. Thank you.

I know i'll get thru it, it just hard knowing i have to go thru it, if that makes sense.

And wotchermuggle made a good point about finding it hard to trust the new therapist. I can't fathom how to not expect this experience not to repeat itself.

This termination coincided with me just starting to acknowledge a grieve for my childhood so it's all wrapped up together in one big feeling of abandonment and loss. Not sure where one hurt end and the next begins.

Thanks anyway guys x