I don't have any plans to pursue anything right now. I need to focus on me and get into therapy to better learn how to cope with my emotions. This all spawned from me telling Sarah exactly how I feel at my deepest level. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and I think she is beautiful, but I also am curious of what it is like to be with someone else. Maybe this curiosity should just stay that. Maybe her response came out of guilt for her being my only partner and she having had other partners. I was just a little thrown off by her response. It seemed genuine and that she wasn't bothered by the idea as long as I kept it discrete and didn't get too attached to someone else.

I think before I pursue this I have to work on me. I need to be in the right state of mind, if it is even something I really want. When I think about what in my life has made me truly happy and all I come up with is falling in love. That felt almost euphoric compared to everything else. Maybe that is part of what my problem is. There isn't much in my life that satisfies me as deeply.