Newtus, your fears are understandable my friend.
I cant imagine what it must be like, having that knowledge about your own mother, it must cut deep...

I'd be scared too, but at this point its wise to deal with the here and now, and maybe formulate a contingency plan for the future?....

Not that I have a plan in mind atm, I'm just always strategizing and formulating contingency plans for myself, its my natural response... control freak much?