i blame my addictions on my loneliness, my solitude, and my past. i remember exactly how i became addicted to pornography when i was a fifth grader. fifth grade year was pretty rough for me. I was really angry and sad at hte same time. the class i had was a terrible one. some students from overseas came and i had to translate english into my own language because i was able to understand them well. so i did and i often got into trouble and made several students cry and myself too. i did not like to be in that class to begin with. i hated them from the start. i thought that i should have been placed into a better class and that they deliberately placed me into that class just so they could screw me up before i graduated. and several girls whom i had problems with broke my glasses. i got on their bad side and as a result they retaliated. but of course they were not immigrants like the others. the others drove me nuts and so did these. i felt like yelling at them. i was very argumentative and my teacher often took their side even when he knows that they were wrong. why? because my mother went in a couple of times into the principal's offices and asked for a class change but it did not go successfully so i was stuck and then he thought that it must have been my fault since his mother worked in the principal's office as well. so i believe she must have told him about it. anyway, as i became more isolated from the others, i began to go to the library, find a far-off spot and start looking at nude photos of people, mostly actors and actresses. then i stopped because i did not have time to go to the library and then sixth grade year when i got into a lot of problems with girls, i became attracted to guys and i liked one guy in particular. and i looked up some more nude images of actors and that's how i got hooked onto it. i was still not satisfied and was often kept alone in my room and i became addicted and compelled to use the computer every day so what i did was add some friends on facebook but little did i know that they had a short clip containing some explicit acts, which was almost like porn. well it was except it was a personal video. eww, i must have thought. i became guilty and felt like every time i did it, made me feel like i just lost something inside of me, something valuable, something precious. then i started masturbating and using porn more than ever. finally i decided to moderate the use of these two and then i slowly detached myself from a lot of the porn but i would often get relapsed into the situations. i hate it more than ever. now that i have identified the root of my problem, which is loneliness, hate, solitude, and unproductivity, i have decided to quit porn for good. i hope that the next time when the urge kicks in, i can better manage it.
i'll say it is useless but i have it all set.