Well,here I am three and a half months after my partner broke up with me. I have struggled with this crappy depression and it is nothing less than an emotional roller coaster. We were together for nine and a half yrs. There was no infidelity, no drug or alcohol abuse, no violence...we just grew apart I suppose. What hurts the most is she told me many times over the years that we would grow old together, how blessed she was to have a person like me, that I am a wonderful person,how she did not desire anyone else. So contradictory to what she did...she left. She has been in two relationships since she left me, first one lasted three weeks and the one she is in now since the end of December. She seems so conflicted about me. When we are alone she treats me kindly, when others are around she is distant, sometimes cold. We decided to try to maintain a friendship because despite what happened we still love each other....allegedly as friends. This leaves me feeling so freaking alone. I feel abandoned, not valued....sad. I am in therapy right now...but it takes me a while to open up so it is a process. Having said that I like my therapist and feel safe with her. I think I need to write my feelings down and bring it with me to my session, easier for her to get a feel for where I am at. T make my life even more complicated transference seems to be kicking in....something else I have to work thru. I am not comfortable discuss sing these feelings just yet.....just feeling lost and overwhelmed.