Having suicidal thoughts and being suicidal are 2 very different things.

I understand if they worry or upset you, but I've come to accept them as part of the package, and really I pay them no mind.

Have you tried to counteract them with positive thoughts?

When the sui thoughts are disconcerting to me. I think 3 beautiful thoughts for every sui thought that pops up.

Pills are a quick fix, you need to retrain your thought pattern away from its default