Open eyes, thanks again for a heartfelt post. I am weary tonight, have been getting stressed (anxiety) over a financial matter, and am reminded how much more difficult Life BS can be when you're not firing on all cylinders. But I want to comment on a couple things.

Its so true that people often seem (or ARE) dismissive about this stuff... there are those who act as if they want to understand but then they cannot, and don't know how to respond. Maybe that (unconsciously?) triggers something defensive in them, so instead of offering support, they project a disinterested or even negative/ critical attitude towards you.

In the case of combat vets, for example, isn't it known that, once back home, these souls are subjected to people who have no clue what it means to be in battle, in the depths of war? Having lives ended or permanently damaged all around them? Their own life at risk all the time? That to me is the extreme (and original) "source" of PTSD. So they are back in society and if they can express their troubles at all, perhaps can only talk to their comrades in arms when it comes to their soul breaking experiences.

I have never been in combat, so I am only imagining what this might be like. NO disrespect or misrepresentation of vets intended, ever! So, then segue to our own "battle ridden at home" form of this disease and the average person's inability to relate. They don't GET IT and they cannot, unless they truly WANT to and take the steps to learn about the illness so they can then support and communicate effectively, without harm. Make any sense?

IMHO, most people can only base their reaction or empathy upon what they themselves have experienced. We want them to understand, to be supportive, even to make an effort to LEARN about the disease so they know better how to deal with it. NONE of this excuses anyone's blatant verbal or physical abuse. Those who would lash out that way towards a "loved one" has their own very serious issues to attend to. I'd say for one's own sake, keep your distance as best you can from such people. If one is a spouse or otherwise close to you, I know that can be difficult or even impossible. Maybe that's why you're here, in part. Only the individual can decide how to take charge of such a situation if it is threatening their very survival, their healing, their happiness. Most often we feel helpless because the disease drains any coping energies so effectively.

Having mental illness and dealing with Alzheimer's is trying to say the least. I went through it and my Mom is long gone now but the clouds and guilt and anxieties remain, like an echo in a storm, drowned out by thunder. For what it's worth, a knowing doctor or counselor would likely advise you to have nothing to do with an Alzheimer Disease patients care... this is what my sister was told in no uncertain terms, RE her own severe depression, PTSD, whatever... that the stress of dealing with our Mom's AD was absolutely beyond her ability. Even the most healthy well adjusted person is deeply challenged by caring for a loved one with AD. How can we possibly do it without hurting ourselves? That is of course a deeply personal matter and should be discussed with a pdoc or counselor. I just know that my experience with this taught me about my limits. And I cannot allow such limits to fill me with remorse or guilt or anything else negative. We do what we can, when we can. NO ONE would expect themselves to care for an AD patient if they were severely handicapped or had open wounds that will not heal! The fact that mental illness is invisible makes it no less debilitating. So I won't kid myself. Please examine this in your own situation to see if anything fits. All I know is I am hearing you, and you must not forget your own needs while tending to the needs of anyone else -- yes, including a parent.

Maybe I shouldn't write when I'm tired and I hope this makes some sense. We gotta be aware of our own disease and how that might be worsened by getting in over our heads with someone else's disease. No loved one would want you to harm yourself (or your brain), or make your condition worse, by you trying to care for them, would they? Peace.... Alex.