I'm doing well, thanks for asking. I appreciate your advice. My husband knows something is up but I have not divulged all the details to him. He had to go out of town this weekend which made things harder on me. I spent the day with family (which I don't typically like to do - that's a long story for another time) so I was able to get brief breaks throughout the day since LO (little one) wasn't demanding my attention all day long.

I'm still scared to come forward with all this. I have been suicidal in the past and have made attempts that failed without anyone knowing about it. T knows about some of the attempts. I don't have any plans now. My mind just dwells in the idea of how nice it would be to not have to deal with everything. Its just different now with having a child. The thought of her growing up without me scares me that it's pushing me harder to do something about being so darn depressed.

I'm going to ask about meds when I see my T on Tuesday. I really don't want to go on meds since the only thing I take right now is a daily vitamins. My goal is to nurse my LO until she is a year old and I'm concerned what effects meds will have on my supply and if the meds will pass through my milk.

Thanks for listening and for checking up on me. It really means a lot!