Hi MdngtRain,

Sorry you feel so down and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Does it help to know that many people have suffered depression and have been where you are and have gone on to recover, becoming productive and happy in their own lives again? I understand thoughts like that might make you feel crappier because of the place you're in right now. All I can say is hang in there. If you're able, try to think some happier thoughts mixed in with how you're feeling now. I read that people who replace their sad thoughts with happy thoughts recover from depression quicker than people who dont might. Again, because of how you feel right now that might be hard to do.

You're helping me put into perspective something that Ive been thinking about. So many times with depression we need to have hindsight and to have hindsight, we have to go thru some awful stuff. But I can see now how recovering from depression has been in a cycle of phases for me. First I felt bad, not knowing why. Then I felt some good times, but they didnt last. Finally, the good times came more frequently than the bad and thats about where I am now, feeling good most of the time with occasional depression. Its taken about 35 years to get here. It makes me feel that eventually, I can pull thru it completely and Im still young enough that its possible I will still have a happy ending. Not making it sound easy cause it isnt.

I feel it wouldnt be completely wrong to believe that what you feel right now is temporary and you may experience ups and downs as you go. Hopefully the ups become more frequent and the downs less so over time. I know that doesnt help much right now but if you can, try to feel a little hopeful. Sending good thoughts to you.