The people that were to give me a lift this morning let me down, so I ended up having to get the train home. There was a person on board coughing a little, but I managed to just accept my intrusive thoughts of danger without engaging them or judging them and hence my anxiety was not too bad, this is real progress for me and I felt really good about it.

However, suddenly loads of people boarded the train, several of whom began sneezing and coughing without covering their noses or mouths. I felt like a caged animal desperate to break free!! The train was going so slow, and I was stuck for about half an hour. The number and strength of my intrusive thoughts and my appraisals of them have subsequently sent my anxiety through the roof, and I am struggling to control it.

Sadly I ended up washing frantically when I got home, and despite trying to be self-compassionate, I feel really disappointed with myself.

I am terrified that I am going to get ill this week and not be able to attend all the things that make my week enjoyable, and really scared that if I do get ill, the OCD side of me will be strengthened and the progress I have made will be damaged.

It's times like this I wish I could contact my therapist between sessions.

I despise OCD!!!!